You look okay
Your wife is never average, she can never be just okay, she is always GREAT, WOW, WONDERFUL. Women are usually pretty into the way they look and need to be with a man who constantly makes them self-confident with great compliments. So never be conservative with those compliments, let your wife have them. She should be to you the youngest, prettiest and most attractive woman alive, and SHE SHOULD KNOW THESE FROM YOU, EVERY TIME.
Woman, I am the man of this house
Women do not need to hear this and such condescending comments from their husbands. They know how hard you work to provide for the family, how you’re the leader of the household, but you needn’t remind them that to make your point. You must recognize and show your wife that you are both equal, that you adore and respect her, and then she’d be at her best. A family is better balanced when the man is the humblest, trust me.
My ex/Mom does that better
If you do not want your wife to turn on you like a pack of wolves, never compare her to your mum or anyone else for that matter. Everyone hates to be compared with others. You can make your point and correct her gently without even making her feel offended. You need to be playful and sensitive.
Try to never use that word on your wife; I’ve learnt how much women hate to hear that. Try using “Right away baby” instead. (Laughs)
She’s a little slimmer though
In talking about how your wife resembles another woman, always remember she’s slimmer and a billion times more beautiful that whoever it is you want to compare her to.
Baby, you’re getting fat lately, why not join a gym
Before you say this, consult your lawyer, sign your will and prepare to die. Dude, you will surely die. (Laughs)